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Joke of the Day

"...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make your little girl cry! But if she's gonna have those ears, she's gonna need a sense of humor."

"Michael Jackson has left behind has been so influential... ...but I think more than any other artist, his legacy has been influenced by his coloured past."

"There needs to be a Meat Likers Pizza for those of us afraid of commitment."

"I always tell my kids that it's ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people."

"There is nothing funny about PMS **.**"

"How can you tell if your dog is gay? If he's sucking another dogs dick in the back of a gay dog night club."

"Not in a hurry - Alcoholism Is A Slow Death! - And we are not in a hurry!"

"Why is it the the people who drink the most Red Bull are the people who seem to have the least going on?"

"I think ""So do you come here often?"" is a valid pick-up line. I don't want a girl who's drinking 7 martinis everyday."