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Joke of the Day

"Obviously the Asian gentleman I saw flush the urinal with a karate kick doesn't mind perpetuating stereotypes."

"Military shouldn't hire people named Will."

"[Commercial for narrators] Narrator: Don't you wish someone would tell you important information in a soothing voice? NARRATORS"

"Do you know why the marketing company started hiring pedophiles? They wanted to get in touch with this generation of children."

"Did you hear about the soldier who had the entire left side of his body blown off? He's all right!"

"According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I'm guessing the other 48% have new ones?"

"I ate something evil and it's killing me... I don't know whether to get an ex-lax or an exorcist"

"TIFU by getting and STD from my Grandma she gave me hepatitis G"

"Your face is kinda similar to a planet... ''Oh yeah, Which one?'' ''Uranus''"

"Thomas Jefferson's dad's name was Thomas Jefferdad. Really makes you think"