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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get take out sushi and eat it at an aquarium just to remind the fish who's boss."

"I know of a guy who eats only thorns in meals... ...guess he's a prickly eater"

"Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time? Because she was an operetta (operator)."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crete ! Crete who ? Crete to see you again !"

"When I open the washing machine lid mid-cycle, I feel like I've entered a party where everybody suddenly stops dancing and stares at me."

"No Smoking Salesgirl : Sir no smoking in the shop. Man : But i purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl : Sir we sell Condoms too, but it doesn't mean u start Fucking us ."

"It may be autocorrect, but I'm excited to see how this plays out when I drive my friend to pickup her satan wedding dress."

"Addicted Three years ago I got addicted to soap. But now I'm clean."

"Sure, I'll spend $5 on a cup of coffee, but I draw the line at paying 44c to have someone travel 3000 miles to hand deliver a letter for me."