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Joke of the Day

"Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit afire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have yourkayak and heat it too."

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"How far do burgers go in school? Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!)."
"Use chemicals to wipe polish and no one bats an eye.. But use chemicals to wipe the Polish and everybody starts to lose their shit."
"The secret episode. ""Hi! This is Khalid al-Mihdhar... and this is Jackass!"" ^^^I'm ^^^going ^^^to ^^^hell ^^^for ^^^this"
"Roses are red, I have a phone, no one texts me, forever alone."
"I need a car. Hiding in people's trunks and hoping they're going to Wal-Mart isn't working out for me."
"Speak English, kiss French, drive German, dress Italian, spend Arab, party Caribbean."
"""omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?"" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy"
"CROSS THE ROAD... MONKEY Q: Why did the monkey cross the road? A: So he could get spanked."
"How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis? You tell me."