151026

Joke of the Day

"What does Michael Vick do in a plane? Have a dog fight."

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? He doesn't, he's dead!"

"Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep."

"Of course Tom Cruise will complete his mission. With Xenu, all things are possible."

"I was recently at an antiques store. I picked up a lamp and a genie popped out. He said ""I will grant you one wish, you can either have a long memory or a long penis"" I forget my response."

"A girl asked if I play any Indian instruments. I told her I play mandolin, violin and cello. Close, but no sitar."

"Why do french people eat snails ? They don't like fast food."

"Want to know how to lose 100 pounds? Go to the London casino..."

"Opinions are like assholes.. Everybody's got one; Most of them aren't that pretty; and No one needs another one."

"Why are the landmarks in Paris quarantined? Because they are parasites"