201949

Joke of the Day

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window If it gets any worse i'll have to let her in"

"[@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are ""definitely not 3 ducks in a suit."" 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct"

"Why is a divorce so damn expensive? Because it fucking worth it!"

"Do you know how much cocaine Charlie Sheen uses ? Enough to kill two and half a man."

"Why do golf commentators speak softly? To not wake the audience."

"What did Waldo say at the Superbowl? I'm just here so I won't get find."

"I saw a gay bar with the entrance boarded up, but it was open... Everyone goes in the back door anyway"

"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."

"Walmart has strategically placed the cold sore meds in the mistletoe aisle."

"What did the suicide bomber ask his son? ""What do you want to be when you blow up?"""