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Joke of the Day

"Last night I had sex for an hour and 30 seconds. I love when daylight savings time ends!"

"Brazil's congress. thats the joke, folks..."

"Finger wager why do women like the oldest men as their gynecologist. (visualize) uncontrollable shaky finger."

"What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee? Britney Spears"

"1:40am. I get up to pee and step on a squeaky dog toy. He grabs a bat by the bed and yells, ""Fried chicken!"" So are the days of our lives."

"Siri, are you a funny reference any more?"

"Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet? Ben/Anna!"

"A Billionaire, a Misogynist, and a Racist walks into a bar The bartender asks how he is doing in the election. Edit: shitty spelling and punchline"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock, knock.... Who's there? The chicken."

"Anytime I see a person wrapped in a Snuggie, I think, that's a person I could easily set on fire."