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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal"

"Besides those glaring flaws that I choose to ignore, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Either a lying war criminal endorsed by the KKK or a Neo Nazi reality TV star are going to be President of America. It's not funny. But it is a fucking joke. America, sort your shit out."

"-Where is your wife ? -In the garden. -But I don't see her. -Oh, you just have to dig a little."

"Nick clegg themed toilets They're full of shit"

"People who leave voicemails are probably the same people who will wait in line to have someone bag their stuff when self-checkout is free."

"Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit. Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work."

"There's a steering wheel in my pants It's driving me nuts"

"Only at Mcdonalds do they say, ""Sorry about your wait"" and really mean ""weight."""

"Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!"