150857

Joke of the Day

"THE SHINING (1980): An oblivious pair of incessant chatterboxes are finally taught to respect the sanctity of a writer's space."

"game of thrones is such a cool show. they should make a book out of it. [props a stick under a box to capture all the nerds that respond]"

"What do you call Japanese people that fly planes? Pirates."

"Congratulations on ""obtaining"" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge."

"What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS? They really scared the Shiite outa me!"

"Which boxer did Darth Vader put his money on in the fight? The Thai fighter"

"Oscar Pistorius was keen to get a new bathroom door.... but his girlfriend was dead against it. Source: Scorch-O-Rama cafe, Wellington, New Zealand"

"When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No"

"Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him."

"Me: he's cute, how old is he? Guy: 25 months Me: first kid? Guy: yeah, how'd you know? Me: because you didn't say ""he's 2"""