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Joke of the Day

"Here's a fact about bees: They don't give a shit about your petty little problems. They've got a fucking job to do. Time is honey."

"Nothing says, ""I have a lot of free time,"" more than someone eating a pomegranate."

"The masochist asks the sadist: please hurt me. The sadist answers: No!"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown And one says ""Hey, does this taste funny to you?"""

"Did you hear about the ex-porn star who got fired from the gas station? Every time he got close to filling the tank, he'd pull the nozzle out and spray gasoline all over the car."

"How can Peter Pan fly? You'd fly too if somebody panned your peter."

"Henry Tudor: ""I'm going to build a car park in the centre of Leicester."" Richard III: ""Over my dead body."""

"How many fugitives does it take to fix a light bulb? 1/3"

"What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum? There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum."

"Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people."