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Joke of the Day

"New virus Did you hear about the problems with the new Facebook game ""Kitchen Ville""? A virus has been hitting it hard, but it only deletes the cook ware. It is an E-Pan-Demic."

"I've been thinking about you...Owl night long."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Do you like discounts? Don't worry at my house, my pants are 100% off"

"What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards."

"Just saw a guy at the gym with only 1 arm. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is? Seriously, I don't know, I'm leaving..."

"On the phone to the chinese food place & my cat's all chatty... I cover the receiver and hiss ""Shhh, you want them to hear you?"""

"75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit"

"How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her"

"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."