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Joke of the Day

"God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters"

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"What do astronauts put on their toast? Space Jam."

"Why are Scientology and Proctology alike? It's all a load of shit."

"[my first day hosting shopping channel] ""for those of you who love coconut, boy do we have a product for you"" [holds up a coconut]"

"It may seem like I have my shit together, but honestly I just learned how to spell February correctly."

"What do you call it when the lead singer of U2 fights with himself? Bono-y-Bono"

"I'm trying this Paleo lifestyle where I live in constant fear and die at the age of 28"

"What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP? A clop cop."

"""no one cares abot ur plan to dig to the center of the earth! the world doesnt revolve around you!"" she said. ""IT WILL IF MY PLAN WORKS THO"""