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Joke of the Day

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with ""and lastly""."

"What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath? One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole"

"what do you call a mexican without a car? carlos"

"""Whoever smeal it, dealt it""... ""...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"""

"Why can Chinese bands rehearse so much? They're never short of Sichuan musicians."

"""Doesn't it feel good to Payless?"" no, i want to be rich & shop at good stores"

"My Day is Going to be a Small Celebration to a Nordic God It'll be a Loki Day"

"Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court"

"If you're white, you should always get to go ahead first instead of the blacks. Is one of the first rules of chess."