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Joke of the Day

"i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday."

"How does the female reproductive system like to order its eggs? Ovaries-y"

"Did you hear about the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He died."

"How can you tell if you're racist? You only pick out the K's when you take an eye exam."

"I was at the bank earlier and an elderly lady asked me to check her balance for her I still don't understand why she was mad when I pushed her over"

"What do you get with breaking news? News casts"

"If I had a dime for every time I dug a hole... I'd be in the hole."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. They're an efficient people, but not very funny."

"Just watched 7 hours of the Inside of my Eyelids Channel. Lotta black shows."

"I told Cheryl Cole I was taking her to Scandinavia for a weeks holiday. ""Norway?"" ""No, I'm serious."""