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Joke of the Day

"Someday, my kids will say ""daddy, wanna hear a cool story"" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story."

"Why does everyone have to point out they adopted their dog? Are they worried that we are suspicious because it doesn't look like them?"

"My buddy plays golf like a man masturbating in a cold shower No matter how he strokes it's just not going to happen"

"Right about now, family members all over the country are realizing the Starbucks cards I gave them for Christmas are empty."

"""Bluetooth or crazy"" - is a guessing game I play when I see someone talking to themselves on the street. I usually guess wrong."

"Jesus fed 5000 people with one fish. Holy mackerel."

"How does Moses make his tea... ... Hebrews it"

"Walking up to guys with girls with them and saying ""you never called! Our son is 5 now"" then walk away....always brightens my day"

"How do you stop a ginger from drowning? You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it."

"Is it okay to joke about suicide? Or is it too much of a nooseance..."