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Joke of the Day

"If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear"

"Did anyone else go into Monsters, Inc. thinking it was going to be a movie about a really big sink?"

"Shout out to girls that have a relationship with prisoners. At least they always know where their man is at."

"What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ? Voldetort."

"Support the war on crack. Stop wearing low rise jeans."

"Today a girl kissed me I wish I could post it in another subreddit Edit: Thanks for gold :D"

"What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass? Carpool tunnel!"

"Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too."

"My mom recently bought a Jesus shaped flashlight When I asked her why she said: So whenever someone says ""I can't see"" I can be like ""here, let Jesus light the path"""

"What do you call a pig that's a lumber jack? Well you call him porkchop"