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Joke of the Day

"Police inspectors on British mystery shows always seem to know the murder victim. Moral: do not befriend any British police inspectors."

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids And I Shrunk Some Water Skis And Now This Little Squirrel Is Skiing In Our Pool And Its Rad You Gotta See This Babe"

"Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone."

"How do you get ready for a trip around the Sun? Planet"

"How many vegans does it take to eat a cheeseburger? One if nobody's looking."

"my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems"

"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."

"Yoga is really kicking in. I'm seeing the definition in my arms and overall flexibility. My vibrator is gonna be really impressed."

"What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush."

"Did you hear about the little guy compelled to clap in time whenever he was on the Paris underground? He was a Metro gnome."