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Joke of the Day

"my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems"

"The most unrealistic movies aren't fantasy and sci-fi. They're the movies where people have a conversation in the pouring rain."

"If I die, I'm gonna kill myself. I just couldn't live without me."

"Why don't you ever see black people on cruises? They'll never be tricked into that one again..."

"What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend? ""Dayuum. I'd hit that."""

"If I win tonight's Powerball, I'm sharing with everyone on Reddit. I'm not sharing the money. I'll just let you know I won."

"""To label you ""divine"" would be to capture but a fraction of your resplendence. ... and could you pleeeeease grab an Oreo while you're up?"""

"Duck Hunting Joke What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever"

"Why don't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there."

"How can you tell that truckers like nuts? They always have pecans! (Read aloud)"