35522

Joke of the Day

"How many vegans does it take to eat a cheeseburger? One if nobody's looking."

"Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell."

"My girlfriend asked me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and slapped her"

"Dear Sir, I am writing this with a heavy heart. Sorry it's so hard to read I should really find a pen"

"What is the difference between a physicist and a biologist? A physicist is atoms studying themselves, while a biologist is cells that study themselves."

"My girlfriend told me that having a good sense of humour is really important I told her to message the mods at /r/Jokes"

"My Wife was dead and rotting for a week... ..and i thought she was just having her periods."

"[judge at restaurant] ""I will try... the lobster"" [2 hours later] ""I find the lobster guilty of money laundering and embezzlement"""

"Why did everyone hate the window? He was a pane in the glass! Credit: 12 year old me"

"Worst math joke I know. Two students sit in a geometry class. One says to the other ""I'm cold!"" The other says ""go sit in the corner."" ""Why?"" replies the first. ""Because its 90 degrees!"""