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Joke of the Day

"Why do Australians suck at chess? Because they keep saying ""checkmate"" when the game's not over."

"What do you call a fox with one leg? Terry :D"

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"Son: Dad, why'd you name me Achilles? He's from Greek mythology. Dad: Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."

"This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!"

"What's the difference between a Terrorist training camp and a Pakistani kindergarten? Shit I dunno, I just fly the drone."

"4 out of 5 dentists agree: kill a lion."

"What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher."

"Why do native Americans make the best strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain"

"Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I'm always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with"