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Joke of the Day

"Did you know you can raise your energy levels by holding sodium in one hand and a AA in the other? Worst thing that will happen is you'll be charged with, A salt and battery."

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"In Jamaica, how do you know if a mango is ripe? Pokemon Go!"
"I was playing a game of solitaire, but I only had a pack of Tarot cards I actually won, but 4 people died"
"There is a bible book all about beer... Its called Hebrews"
"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."
"You know I'm glad there are women in the world... Otherwise life would be a pain in the ass."
"Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we're hopeful."
"Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25"
"I'm not exactly sure who Pavlov is... But the name does ring a bell."
"When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, ""I have now."""