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Joke of the Day

"Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs? He had too much thyme on his hands."

"Despite the cost of living... It still remains so popular."

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."

"I got a Ouija board tattooed on my back to trick ghosts into giving me massages."

"What the difference between the titanic and climate change? Climate change beat the ice berg"

"Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky."

"Mexico Olympic Team Joke Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic swimming team? Their best swimmers are all in American waters."

"me (on desert island): good thing i was able to grab this CD player & my 5 fav CDs other survivor: I saw you put down bread & pick those up"

"There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley... one was assaulted."

"whats that under your shirt, Louie? you wearing The Wire? you wearing a literal DVD taped to your chest for the purposes of a visual gag eh?"