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Joke of the Day

"Van Gogh's girlfriend: my dearest Vincent, lend me your ear Him: cuts ear off Her: I just wanted u to listen to me Him: nah, I'm good"

"Punch Lines ""The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."""

"What's white and fuzzy and lives high up in the trees? A Meringue - a - tan."

"My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!"

"Why did the clam get in an accident? He was talking on his shellphone."

"What did the rich socialite's parrot say? Polly want a cracker with cavier please!"

"While your honesty is refreshing, I am regretfully unable to accept your chat request, IWillDoYouAnally23."

"Why do frogs have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !"

"I was going down on this guy.......... ..... He started playing with my hair. I mean, what a homo, right?"

"Did you hear what NASA said about the asteroid? [OC] ""No comet."""