66797

Joke of the Day

"whats that under your shirt, Louie? you wearing The Wire? you wearing a literal DVD taped to your chest for the purposes of a visual gag eh?"

"A donkey walked 12 miles.. but when measured the front leg walked 12 miles but the back legs walked only 10 miles Its because he was walking in a circle"

"I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better."

"I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer."

"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify."

"Last night I had an Ant on me... Okay, I guess she was more of a Cougar."

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock."

"I don't know what fool first decided to put carrots in the cake, but they sure lucked out."

"Lubricant?? ... Lubri-CAN!!!"

"What's the most awkward moment for Jesus during sex? When they scream his fathers name."