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Joke of the Day

"I forgot to turn my SWAG off before I went to bed. I woke up poor and working at McDonald's."

"I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it."

"Why do robots make bad lovers? Nuts & bolts!"

"ghosts in movies are stupid if i was a ghost id be in the bahamas but they're just like ""lets stay here and move pots and pans"""

"What does DNA strand for? National Dyslecsics Association"

"Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel."

"Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise."

"I, for one, like Roman numerals"

"What happened when a whore house caught on fire? Some came out running, others ran out coming."

"Wanna know my New Year's Resolution? 4K, baby."