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Joke of the Day

"My friends hate I when I use smiley faces. They're just childish xD"

"Something something Reddit something something Ellen Pao GUYS, DID I DO IT RIGHT, GUYS?! DO I GET THE FREE POINTS NOW?!?!"

"What to brussel sprouts and anal sex have in common? If they are forced on you as a child, you wont enjoy them as much as an adult"

"Heard this on NPR- Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He's all right though."

"What did Beyonce say when Jay-Z refused anal? If you liked it you should had put a ring muscle on it!"

"There is a U.N group set up to help those who're bisexual... B-I-N.G.O!"

"Say pns U just said penis :)"

"I have a bad feeling we're going to pay for Taylor Swift not having a boyfriend on Valentines Day."

"Why do cannibal children go to the hospital? Because their mothers told them to eat their vegetables."

"I found out I'm a necrophiliac. How, you ask? I walked into an autopsy. It was stiff."