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Joke of the Day

"Why Was Tigger looking in the toilet?? ... He was looking for Pooh!"

"I wonder if Woody or Buzz have ever met Andy's moms toys. I think it would cause mass confusion as they probably share the same names."

"Weed is not a drug, its a plant. Therefore, I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist."

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you, unless of course, they're feeding you kale."

"What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream!"

"Q: What does a blonde answer to the question ""Are you sexually active?"" A: ""No I just lie there."""

"A man asked me how easy it was to contract HIV... I handed him an address and told him to stop by after dusk with a casque of Cognac and ask for the Honeybadger."

"What goes ""Ooooooooooo!""? A cow with no lips."

"I put the 'fun' in 'dyslexic'."

"""Ok, identify the noun in this sentence. Timmy is stupid."" Timmy: stupid? ""Exactly"""