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Joke of the Day

"What does a Native American Biologist live in? ATP"

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"An old lady at an ATM asked me if I could help her check her balance... So I pushed her over."
"I have a friend who is in the Guinness Book of World Records for ""Most Concussions"" He lives about a stones throw away."
"*Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE"
"Comedy is like a baby shower Useless if the delivery goes wrong"
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year."
"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? To see the battle."
"What's the difference between a contradiction and a punchline? There's no punchline for this joke."
"Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered."
"Only Christians will get this... Eternal life."