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Joke of the Day

"""Hi I'm here to interview for the branch manager position."" ""We're only hiring tree trimmers."" ""That's exactly what I just said."""

"Maybe being fat isn't bad, it just sounds awful because we say 'morbidly obese'. Let's switch it to 'cheerfully obese' and see what happens."

"What do you call a Blind German? A Not see."

"I was watching the Grammys when something hit me my dad"

"What do you call an underwater dog? A sub woofer!"

"An old man's wife jumps out of the bathroom in a loose robe and shouts.... SUP-ER PUSSY!!! To which the old man replies ""I'll just have the soup"""

"Jokes are like topsoil I make my own, but it's mostly recycled shit."

"If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?"

"I got diarrhea while camping last weekend. Shit was in tents."

"Growing up in a household dominated by females, you learn: 1. The importance of listening 2. 101 euphemisms for ""the monthly visitor"""