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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Blind German? A Not see."

"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""

"A girl just broke up with her friend The guy deserved it. He loved her more than anything, but still he treated her really badly. He really was a dick' to her. (addicted to her)"

"I was pretty sure you were the wrong kind of crazy. Then you used ""luckfully"" in a tweet and removed all doubt."

"I like my pasta like I like my prostitues With a little sausage"

"""Dad, I'm I want you to move back home rent free"" hi I want you to move back home rent free. I'm dad ""Ok thanks dad"" well shit"

"I hope the person who knocked repeatedly on the bathroom door knows I took longer on purpose."

"Why people don't offer chair to Sean Connery when he comes? Because he shits on it."

"My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang"

"So how was the tourettes convention? SHIT"