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Joke of the Day

"A deeply religious man is trying to book a room at a hotel. He asks the receptionist if the pornography is disabled. To which she replies, ""No. We just have regular pornography, you sick fuck."""

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"A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater. He swipes his card but it didn't register. The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, ""I already did and it fits great!"""
"Where do terrorists go when they're on the run? Apparently, they go everywhere."
"[Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples."
"""See, son, when an Ice Ice Man and an Ice Ice Woman love each other very much..."" - Vanilla Ice explaining where Ice Ice Babies come from"
"What college did Michael Jackson go to? Bringham Young"
"Do you like the internet? Cause I can put you on there if you come back to my place."
"Tolkien once wrote a novel set in an office... It's titled, ""And My Fax""."
"A young man was at prom with his date. He went off in search for something to drink. After getting lost a few times, he finally asked a chaperone, ""So where's the punch line?"""
"How does a plant walk? It uses a plant stand."
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