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Joke of the Day

"Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows"

"The brochure for my new camera says that the shutter speed is so fast that you can photograph a hummingbirds wings in flight, or a woman with her mouth shut"

"How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich."

"On April 16, 2017, a small French city will detach from the surface of the Earth and fly into space, killing everyone. It's just Toulouse."

"Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion... You've seen a maul."

"What the difference between Reddit and other sites? On some of them you actually have a voat"

"In a recent poll, 80% of Japanese women admitted to having faked origami."

"So in the old days Jesus told me that he needs an ark, I reply : ""I noah guy"""

"I'm bad at sewing Shit, wrong thread."

"If you have allowed suicide to ruin your life... you probably did it wrong."