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Joke of the Day

"(slightly dirty) What's the difference between a striptease artist and a trapeze artist A trapeze artist has a cunning stunt...."

"When you are on a first date and she says to you: ""I want you to treat me like a movie star,"" it is vitally important to establish which type of movie."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"

"The elevators aren't working and I work on the 10th floor. I just may become the first person ever to call in sick from the security desk."

"I can't believe I just found out R.E.M. split up. I suppose the rest of the band just weren't Michael's type."

"What's a soldier's least favorite car company? KIA"

"Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."

"What do you call a fish that takes a selfie? Selfish"

"Two wives talking about sex The first asks 'Do you smoke after sex with your husband?' 'I don't know' replies the second 'I've never looked'."

"""I'm hungry!"" says your sister... ""Hi Hungry, I'm Dad"" your father replies Two hours later, your dad says, ""I'm fucking hungry!"""