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Joke of the Day

"A stormtrooper just got sent to the firing squad. He will be missed."

"Am I the only one who calculates how many hours sleep I can get before I go to sleep?!"

"What's a Jewish pedophiles favorite pick up line? Hey kid, ya wanna buy some candy?"

"Russell Crowe never regrets cunnilingus He'll always be Gladiator."

"A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile"

"I have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder...but I heard great things about him, like he supported 3 people at one time... last I heard he was In a 12 step program"

"I like my coffee like how I like my women. Without a penis."

"It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*"

"""Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?"" ""Yes."" ""Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter."" -Apple, creating the iPhone charger."

"Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith."