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Joke of the Day

"Aren't you glad you no longer have that ""Call Me Maybe"" song in your head? Oops. Sorry. #SoCallMeMaybe!"

"What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots"

"What'd the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam!"

"One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window? Curt 'n Rod"

"Judge: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people."

"I spend more time on twitter than I do in church. I'd rather vent to imaginary friends on the Internet than to imaginary friends in the sky."

"I play the keyboard in a band called The Internet!"

"What do you call a slut that just took laxatives? DiWHOREea"

"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."

"According to the white girl weather report, today will be ""suuuuper duper sunny"" with a high of ""ughhhh"" and a low of ""fuh-reezing!"""