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Joke of the Day

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba dum tss!"

"Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite"

"You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse."

"Friends only its Dogs but instead of claps in the theme song, barks"

"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."

"If I ever met the man who came up with the idea of lobotomies, I'd give him a piece of my mind."

"My spirit animal just ran into a glass door."

"You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk."

"What did the bear say to the judge? I bearly touched her."

"2 Smurfs stand over a body... ""What happened?"" ""Choked on a sandwich."" ""Nobody helped?"" ""No."" ""Didn't they see him turning bl-"" ""..."" ""Oh."""