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Joke of the Day

"2 Smurfs stand over a body... ""What happened?"" ""Choked on a sandwich."" ""Nobody helped?"" ""No."" ""Didn't they see him turning bl-"" ""..."" ""Oh."""

"6 made coffee for me this morning, I'm now thinking that she can never move out of the house"

"Girl, are you these plates I recently bought from Wal-Mart? Because I just learned that you're not microwave-safe."

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Me and my running friends always run 5Ks, but now they want to run 10K races and I really hate running 10Ks"

"Whenever I talk to a Mexican I feel like there's some kind of barrier between us It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it."

"The host of Dirty Jobs may have balls of steel... But he's got a Mike Rowe penis."

"So important your wife knows you're petting the dog when she hears you say ""you're getting a little chunky"""

"What's a Grecian Urn? About 2 bucks an hour depending on what the current minimum wage is."

"You know, you're not that bad looking -- for a fat-ass."

"how did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool"