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Joke of the Day

"Idiots beating you down Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

"""My advice to you: subtlety."" - The Joker, to Trump"

"Bless you, my son... What is the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits for puberty before coming on his face."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother, he's not coming."

"Him: Are you perioding? Me: Are you deathwishing?"

"What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!"

"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.;-)"

"You know that movie Anaconda? They filmed it in my pants."

"Overheard 10 plan her b-day party with her BFF, including renting several hotel rooms for a mega sleepover. Somebody tell her, I can't."