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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!"

"You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"At this point, I'm pretty sure the main reason Donald Trump ran for president was to get more Twitter followers"

"Well at least the world isn't spinning uncontrollably around a huge ball of fire."

"Me: I'm into fitness Trainer: not again M: fitness whole pizza in my mouth T: you should go M: this isn't going to ""workout"" T: LEAVE NOW"

"My mother and father separated last year and my father recently started seeing someone and it's been very hard for me. There are two major issues I have with his new partner. He's black."

"There are alot of Hillary signs in my neighborhood... When did she change her last name to 'For Prison'?"

"Why wasn't meek mills phone working? Because it wasn't ""charged up"""

"Waiter: Do you have any questions about the menu? Me: Did you laminate these yourself?"

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."