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Joke of the Day

"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20"

"What do you call a cancer doctor who works 24/7? An on-call-ogist"

"When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette."

"I lost a very dear friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident this weekend. He got his finger caught in a wedding band."

"Rule 34.34 of the internet If it exists, there is a repost of it."

"Why did the invisible man turn down the job? He couldn't see himself doing the work"

"I went to the store to buy 50ft of rope. The guy at the store said ""This spool of rope is on clearance for only $2. It's 500ft long."" ""Nah man"" I said ""I hate long good buys."""

"""I sure hope that was a cracker"" -Me eating in the dark."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."

"Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset? Because you didn't ask him what band he's in."