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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? Marry her"

"Based on the things my kid will and won't eat, my cooking is apparently worse than a stale Fruit Loop covered in dog hair."

"How many ""sup dude""s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit? Looks like we're snowed in."

"If you're one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you."

"[playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low"

"Just found out men don't need prostate exams till at least 40. I think my doctor has a lot of explaining to do."

"They called their son Honest Abe, because he was honest. They called their daughter Bloody Mary..."

"Heard about the baby seal who walked into a club? ba doom doom cha!"

"What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch."