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Joke of the Day

"So I checked into a nihilist hotel, and asked for turndown service. The clerk at the reception looked at me wearily and responded: ""Turndown? What for?"""

"What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common? Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead."

"Hearing problems I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"afraid Alone in my room and and thinking someone is also there lol."

"What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school? Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!"

"My dad walked in on me masturbating... he said, ""quit doing that, you'll go blind""! I said, ""dad, I'm over here""!"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a doctor and two nurses to get it out."

"Good cop: If you just let us know where the body is, we'll let you go Bad Batman: Ben Affleck"

"Co-worker: ""If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.."" Me - ""THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."""

"My wife says she is really looking forward to the hotel... But I have my reservations."