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Joke of the Day

"Listen to Mom! Jim: Sometimes I wish I had listened to my mother's advice. Jon: What did she say? Jim: I dunno. I never listened!"

"Had to replace the condom I carry around in my wallet yesterday Just heard they have a 5 year expiry date."

"My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me."

"LPT: If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."

"How do you make an Chocolat omelette? With Easter eggs."

"I found a typo on these Fruity Pebbles. For the serving size it says 3/4 ""cup."" They totally spelled ""box"" wrong."

"GENIE 1: he wanted money so i made him a bank robber, ha GENIE 2: i just...gave mine money GENIE 1: LMAO YOU GUYS, JERRY JUST GAVE IT TO HIM"

"Overheard at the coffee shop: 'i think that guy is listening to our conversation'"

"Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig."

"How many non-binary gender-fluent people does it take to change an LED lightbulb? DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY LIGHTBULB?"