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Joke of the Day

"Her legs spread so easy, I can't believe it's not butter."

"From my History class about elections: If a country is 80% Hindu and 20% Muslim, who wins? The USA"

"Why was the beach wet? Because the sea-weed."

"[job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes"

"How do you starve a black guy? Hide his food stamps under his work boots."

"What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like? Bacon."

"ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"want to go to a pet store and pet the guinea pigs. let me see those baked potatos stat. i want to hear the noise they make"

"Just lost my mood ring... not sure how I feel about that."

"What's Brown and Sticky? A stick!"