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Joke of the Day

"A preteen girl cried when I popped her cherry without permission. It was her fault for leaving fruit on the ground!"

"How long will a floating point operation float?"

"I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers. Their answers were half-and-half."

"Why are Vampires Democrats? They want Gore in 2000."

"A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks ""Do you have a previous criminal history?"" The visitor replies ""I didn't realize that was still a requirement"""

"Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware."

"The biggest difference between men and women... Is what comes to mind when the word 'facial' is used."

"having sex w/ a girl who has multiple personalities would be awesome unless one of those personalities was hitler"

"Why do ghosts never age? They use Bootox."

"I went for a run. I was out 2 minutes before I had to return because I forgot something... ...I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes"