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Joke of the Day

"The good news is that there is baseball in heaven... The bad news is that you're pitching on Friday."

"It's a shame the Parisian Christmas Buttplug was destroyed... It fitted in so well."

"What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling? An Ethiopian rave."

"My brother got kicked out of his house by his wife for measuring his penis. For the record, it reaches the back of her sister's throat."

"A programmer orders 0 drink from the bar. Only when his friend comes in and he orders for both does he get his drink."

"What did one rock say to the other? Ha, you really think rocks can talk?"

"If you're American when you go into the bathroom... ...and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European"

"What does the twitter bird do when it needs money? It goes to Twerk!"

"When I hear ""This call is being monitored for quality assurance"" I think ""Cool, let's see how bad this person wants their job."""

"What do you call it when an immigrant and a pedophile get into a fight? Alien Vs. Predator"