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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bad Cubs game? Unbearable"

"Last year my ex got mad at me because I was masturbating during a shower.. ..which usually wouldn't be a big deal, but.... It was a baby shower."

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean? I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face."

"For Follow Friday I recommend Saturday."

"Why is Santa's Sack so big? Because he only comes once a year."

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables... The bartender says, you can have a drink, but ya better not start anything"

"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"

"Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair? Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud"

"Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies."

"My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious."