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Joke of the Day

"Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies."

"I came across a lost kid in my neighborhood the other day Now I have to register everywhere I live and put a sign in my yard :("

"Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb they screw in a hot tub."

"What do Pizzas and parents have in common? .. if they are black, you have nothing to eat!"

"How many letters are there in the alphabet? Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T."

"How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn? A buck an ear"

"How many Horsemen of the Apocalypse does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. War never changes."

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and he slams in down in one gulp. ""What do I owe ya?"" asks the neutron. ""For you? No charge."""

"Air & Sex Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"What did the dog say to the tree? Bark"