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Joke of the Day

"Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her."

"What did the butcher say the the angry customer? I'm sorry that we couldn't meat your needs. I came up with that myself about a year ago."

"""Could you take a couple steps back. I have a nut allergy."""

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"When I get murdered the neighbors will be on the news like, ""Wow, I can't believe it took so long."""

"[Hall of Justice] Aquaman: How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress? Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help."

"When people see ghosts, why aren't they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?"

"When I was a kid, I had to quit the marching band based on my religious principles. I was a real tuba leaver back then."

"lately my house has been a bit drafty... not because its' poorly insulated, but because my wife keeps bringing home marines..."

"Where does a prostitute go to rat out her pimp? To a hoe-tell."