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Joke of the Day

"How does a mustache support his family in the event of his untimely death? By investing in a shavings account."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, if you can get 'em in there."

"How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store."

"My childhood was pretty traumatizing... for my parents."

"sometimes i visit websites that have videos of people making love"

"How do you know if you're a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood."

"[Car dealership] Me: *taps glove box* How 'bout this one? Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold."

"Social media is one of the best things to ever happen to stupidity."

"Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!"

"If Russia attacked Turkey from behind... ...would Greece help?"