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Joke of the Day

"What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria? Alphabet Soup."

"I have an outstanding warrant for loitering. *I don't know why my brain thought this was the funniest joke to replay during my sleep this morning but it made me wake up giggling."

"If I ever noticed you waving frantically from inside a burning building I would totally wave back because I'm polite."

"Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren? Motorist: Sure that's why I sped up."

"The Milli Vanilli Tour has been cancelled... They blamed it on the rain"

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally"

"Remember when Taco Bell's slogan was ""run for the border""? Doesn't that seem really racist now... that would be like KFC's slogan being ""go back to Africa"""

"how many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three, the right ear, the left ear and the final frontier"

"Why doesn't Usain Bolt have a girlfriend? Because he's literally the fastest man on earth (get it cuz sex)"

"Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska? Just for the halibut."